And some time make the time

Arabic Pop

2006-05-19T11:24:00.001+03:00

A Survey of Arabic (Pop) . . .

Syrians - and perhaps the whole Arab world - consume an enormous amount of music. Unlike the privacy of ipods, recorded music here is very much a public affair, pouring out of homes, balconies, car stereos, restaurants, and little shops.

For those vaguely familiar with music in the Arab world, the following should be well known, however, it might surprise you, dear reader, if you haven't had the chance to travel to the Middle East. The two undisputed holy icons of Arabic music - Umm Kulthum and Fairuz - still have an amazing hold on the daily listening habits of the Arab world. In the widely used beginner Arabic text books in the US - Al-Kitaab - both singers are featured with information and a little sample of each. At the time, I didnÂt understand the term famous in regards to Kulthum and Fairuz and considered the information on these two women as merely an educational tool and not so much as a cultural insight.

Let me be clear, these women are, as John Lennon stated at the height of Beatle-mania, we're bigger than Jesus . . . granted this isn't an impressive feat in the largely Muslim Arab world. Nonetheless, it is difficult for me to express how fully established these two singers are people's daily lives. Fairuz in the morning; Umm Kulthum at night; this is a common statement I've heard here. Everyone here - but me - can sing along with these songs. Following the death of Umm Kulthum, Cairo experienced the among the largest funerals in world history - four million people poured out into the streets. The United States has nothing, even close, to the fame of these two women. Sure, Beatle-mania was huge, but imagine if IT NEVER STOPPED and the screaming kids stopped screaming but didn't find new music, imagine if you still heard "A Hard Day's Night" and "Let it Be" regularly for the next 40 years.

New Arabic music, Arabic pop, is far from the glory days dismissed (but watched) by the older folks, but enjoyed more by the younger kids. That's another thing, the gaps in personal taste or generational listening demographics doesn't seem to be as pervasive here. Adults, grown-ups listen and watch the new, slick, MTV style pop music. Much different in the states wherein most folks over 40 don't want to listen to Jay-Z. HOVE!

No voice, no clothes. I've head this as a description of many of these singers (female) mostly coming from Lebanon but not entirely. Who's who of Arabic pop? Well, with 14 different music video channels (really, and I get limited/crappy satellite service) I've gotten a taste of some of the 'hot' Arabic pop these days. Here's a few Arab Pop Stars:

Nancy Ajram: SheÂs a cute little singer from Lebanon. Her new big song is Yatabtab Wa Dalla3 - yes, with a three - it makes sense in Arabic. Anyway, I think this translates to "Pat-Pat and Cuddle-Cuddle." I can't get this song out of my head. I like Nancy. She's not a huge talent or anything, but I find her fun. Nancy is signed with Coca-Cola and she's featured on Regular Coke cans here. She's the gal on this page in the red dress.

Haifa Wahbe: According to a Syrian friend of mine, women more or less hate Haifa. She's got the bad-girl vibe, distinct or opposite from Nancy.

Elissa: She's not bad and has a better voice than Nancy and Haifa. She's on Team-Pepsi and I've seen a commercial with her and the paragon of virtue and chastity, Christina Aguilera, singing and laughing and drinking Pepsi.

Amr Diab: According to an Arab-American friend of mine, Amr Diab is the ÂRicky Martin of the Middle East.Â Although, to be fair, this guy has more staying power and perhaps talent, but does have that slick, greasy Ricky Martin way about him. Also signed with Team-Pepsi.

Ruby: Ruby is from Egypt. HereÂs an article about how sheÂs pushing the envelope . . . although not musically like, say, an Arab Pop version of John Cage. Nope. She's closer to dancing in a Cage and looking for Johns than she is to 4"33". I don't think she has put any music out for a while - so maybe I'm behind the trend on this one.

Two Thoughts on Music before I depart:

1. I've noticed that a full credit reel follows every music video produced in the Arab world. Not only are we told the name of the director as well as the entire musical production team, but we are also kindly given the name of the catering company, gaffer, and big boy.

2.
(AN OPEN LETTER TO SYRIA)

Dear Syria:

I love your country. I've had a wonderful time here and I consider it my adopted home. I'm several months from leaving and I'm already sad that I have to go. HOWEVER, I have one minor request.

I've been subjected to the song CARELESS WHISPER by WHAM every other day since I've been here: I'm talking at least four to five times a week. I wish this was hyperbole, but sadly I've started counting.

NOTE TO READER *I'm also counting the acoustic or instrumental cover of this song in my poll.

Anyway, I cannot express how much I hate this song. I didn't like it the first time I heard it, but enough is enough already. Wham released this song almost 20 years ago. This needs to stop. Now. Please. I like Arabic Music - please play Arabic music!

Thank you,

KickySack

Pets in Syria

2006-04-23T21:17:00.000+03:00

Yes, Pets in Syria.

I know what you are thinking, dear reader. I can easily anticipate your reaction. How can this brave young writer possibly churn out such cutting-edge, newsworthy reporting that lackeys in the Major Corporate Media are afraid to touch? You must wonder: how can Kicky Sack put himself in peril just to get the big story, to wrap his Cheetos-stained fingers (© 2006 Frito-Lay North America, Inc.) around throbbing pulse of Syria, check it for ring-worm, and then deliver it to your Personal Computer?

I must admit, such work isn’t easy, for I put myself in the Hot Zone every day, for you dear reader, because I am very hot. (Imagine a fancy flame behind the word Hot, perhaps a target, or some smoke, and of course my handsome profile behind the word Zone)

Yes, to obtain the information on this post - Pets in Syria – I had to go undercover as a short-haired Schnauzer and endure eating my own feces for three days as a means not to ‘blow’ my cover; I was forced to kidnap myself at gun-point; driven to hand out bribes to several top-pet store owners; needlessly kill seven cats; and go as an embedded reporter with the 5th Armed Battalion of Large-Animal Veterinarians; and feed a suitcase full of Sodium Pentothal (a trademark of Abbott Laboratories) to an unsuspecting camel. So you better enjoy this post.

So what is the scoop on pets in Syria?

Dogs: Not a lot of dogs here. This is a cultural/religious thing. On one hand, saying ‘what up, dog’ to someone in Arabic does not go over well here. In terms of religion, dogs are not looked upon with warmth in some Islamic circles. This, however, does not imply that they deserve death, as some Imams have taught, but rather they might not be deserving of $2,000 worth of dental work to reset an unfortunate over-bite as sometimes occurs in the United States. The small Christian areas do, however, have ‘inside dogs’ and people walk around with dogs from time to time. Also, more upper-class Muslim areas also have people with dogs every once and awhile. (I'm sure I'll get some e-mail for this whole dog and Islam talk . . . believe it or not, I've actually read a fair amount about this issue - here's a link before you get all huffy at me:
http://www.islamicconcern.com/dogs.asp) (sorry, I couldn't get the hyperlink to work - so cut and paste)

Cats: I live next to a cat farm. Not an official cat farm, but more of a cat settlement or perhaps retirement home. Cats are very powerful here. I think they are Unionized. Once a week two old ladies come along with big bags of meat and feed the cats, then the cats shit everywhere.

Birds: Lots of birds in cages hanging around in public here. I, for one, hate birds. I don’t mind flying birds but I can’t deal with them up close. In short, they freak me out and I’m a little afraid of them. I’m not joking.

Anyway, my neighbor has a whole pigeon . . .I’m not sure what to call it . . . collection? No. Team? Well, he makes them fly around and come back and he whistles at them like a basketball coach, but team doesn’t work. Flock, he has a flock. Sorry, dear reader, my English is deserting me while my Arabic is only decent: this is the hellish linguistic nightmare that I call my life.

Whatever, the man has got a lot of birds and most afternoons he’s out on his roof sending them around bringing them back. I’ve heard about some fierce competition between people who do this – that people ‘steal’ each other’s birds and sometimes this causes some strife and arguments. I can’t independently verify this information. But let us pretend it is true for the sake of entertainment.

Camels: No one has a pet camel in Damascus. I know horrible and racist Middle East stereotypes often involve camels, but I’ve only seen Syrians making money off this western notion at tourist sites: trying to entice one into agreeing to an expensive ride. That being said, some of the Gulf satellite stations show camel racing and then a pack of SUV’s outside the track, following the camels and kicking up dust. I actually enjoy watching these races on the TV and hopefully I’ll be able to catch a real-life race one of these days.

5 Random Thoughts on Life in Syria

2006-04-07T21:17:00.000+03:00

1.
Socks!!! I don’t know why, but I find that everyone is trying to sell me socks on the streets of Damascus. I’ve never been anywhere where socks are so readily available. I’m always confronted with little old men, chain-smoking and trying to hawk socks. I’ve bought a few pairs. Not bad.

2.
I went to a very nice restaurant recently and noticed something rather odd. The restaurant is pretty ‘high-class’ and I even know some kids from Austria who saw the Syrian President dining with his family at this place – point being that this place isn’t Applebee’s or some shithole. Anyway, we finish a great meal and the always-hovering ‘staff’ begins to clear the table. In some ‘fine dining establishments’ in the States I’ve seen waiters with ‘crumbers’ these little things that quietly pick up bits of food on the table. Well, this restaurant doesn’t do ‘quietly’ . . . after we finished our meal (which was amazing by the way – the food here is by and large good, I’ve been impressed) I noticed this waiter with a ‘dust-buster’ in hand. Yes, dear reader, he DUST-BUSTED the table of loose crumbs. It was very loud and I was beyond entertained. I love this kind of stuff.

3.
Straws. I don’t know why – but Syrians seem to love straws. Maybe this is more common all over the world and this isn’t a Syrian or even a Middle East thing – I don’t know. I do know this: waiters in restaurants look at me like I’m a freak-show when I don’t use my straw. Even if I only bought a soft drink in a store, I find that the man behind the counter tries (in vain) to give me a straw. I hate using straws in ‘open’ containers. If I’ve got a lid, sure, gimme a straw. Milkshakes – okay, I can see the need of a straw there. But a straw for everything? Not into it.

4.
Eyebrows up, sometimes accompanied by a click of the mouth means NO: I’ve been here a few months and I’m sometimes still a bit slow to read this one. I’ll say a destination to a cab-driver and rather than saying “No” in Arabic or shaking his head, he’ll give me a “eyebrows-up-whatever-look” and sometimes it takes me a few beats to recognize that he said “No – I’m not going that way.” From what I understand, this is a Syrian thing, rather than the spread across the whole Arab world. I can’t wait to take this back to America and offend strangers and friends.

5.
Sometimes when I’m chatting with Syrians, not necessarily friends but random people in restaurants, shops, cabs, etc., I’m confronted with “Which is better?” question. “Are the girls prettier here or in America?” “Do you like America or Syria more?” I hate this line of questioning. I don’t want to measure these things and even if I did, I wouldn’t know what criteria to use. I mean, what would I say? . . . . . . . . YES! I’ve found that Syrian woman score higher on the beauty per-cubic inch index than their American counter-parts? Or, I like America more because the soft-serve ice cream is 2.3 times better in terms of richness and smoothness when compared to leading Syrian vendors?

Bird Flu . . . .

2006-03-22T22:51:00.000+02:00

Sure, I’ve seen some fairly attractive illustrated chickens in my life – but wow-wow-whee-wow, this one is stunning. I adore her long lashes. I’m captivated by her delicately applied lipstick, which extenuates her lovely, lush, yellow beak. And those weird red things – perhaps anatomically part of a chicken – make for beautiful pseudo-earrings. Yes reader, I’m smitten.
And yes, ‘eatable’ is the Arabic message and this is an image from the World Health Organization (in partnership with the Syrian government Ministries of Agriculture and Health) which features – on the other side – a message to reassure people that eating chicken is safe despite a world-wide concern over Bird Flu. I took this cartoon of ‘Daisy-the-Chicken’ home with me from a restaurant here in Damascus. (I named her Daisy – she was not named in the info on the back)
After the outbreak in Turkey, many Syrians worried that the pandemic would jump the boarder and inflect the chicken population here. Furthermore, it is common among the Christian community to give children eggs/little-chickens as part of the whole Easter re-birth motif. However, I’ve been told that due to Bird Flu I shouldn’t expect such fun this year. I’ve also been told that the kids spray paint the chickens and often accidentally kill them. So I’m a tad disappointed that this Easter I’ll miss-out on little pink and purple chickens running around before facing accidental death at the hands of children.
Anyway, I need to do a better job at asking more people about chicken so I can appraise the effectiveness of the World Health Organization’s ‘up-with-chickens-campaign’. I’m a bit skeptical, however, due to the culture of conspiracy theories and disinformation, as to how easily people here can be persuaded by official information coming from a big international organization. (Not a lot of love for the UN over here during the last year). All that being said, people are certainly eating chicken in public and perhaps in private as well. When it comes down to it, I think that every population has a set of similar ‘personality-types’: the same kind of folks who shunned beef during our minor mad-cow outbreak in America have neurotic counterparts in Syria, who are likewise shying away from any and all things with feathers.

For the record: I eat chicken here and I like it. I mean, look at Daisy – what’s there not to love?

A Brief Thought . . . .

2006-02-24T22:46:00.000+02:00

The following is an excerpt of a Nagib Mahfouz (Egyptian novelist and winner of the 1982 Nobel Prize in Literature) from Hisham Sharabi’s Neopatriarchy: A Theory of Distorted Change in Arab Society . . .

"He leads a contemporary [i.e., “modern”] life. He obeys civil and penal laws of Western origin and is involved in a complex tangle of social and economic transactions and is never certain to what extent these agree with or contradict his Islamic creed. Life carries him along in its current and he forgets his misgivings for a time until one Friday he hears the imam or reads the religious page in one of the papers, and the old misgivings come back with a certain fear. He realizes that in this new society he has been afflicted with a split personality: half of him believes, prays, fasts, and makes the pilgrimage. The other half renders his values void in banks and courts and in the streets, even in the cinemas and theaters, and perhaps even at home among his family before the television set."

While Mahfouz wrote this years ago, it still applies to what I see in Syrian and Arab society. Recently I was out to lunch with an Arab Christian in one of the many dinning establishments in Damascus. And as nearly all of the ‘modernized’ dinning establishments that feature versions upon western themed food, this place had a television and was tuned to one of the 20 or so main Arab Music Video channels. Amidst video after video full teeming with sexuality, I heard the call to prayer echo from one, then another mosque around the neighborhood. After a little bit, one the waiters turned the channel to what I’m sure was a Saudi based-station, for the afternoon prayer. As soon as the prayer was over, he flipped back to Western inspired, Arab-interpreted, music television – brimming with breasts and gyrating hips. I began to laugh and was asked, “What is so funny?” I explained that I found the juxtaposition between half-naked music videos and religiosity (which implicitly upholds “the modest’ and ‘the chaste’ as virtues for women) without even a pause, without even a cursory nod to a glaring contradiction, struck me as hilarious. She found it funny after I explained it, and said: “yah, you get so used to these things that it doesn’t even seem weird . . .“ I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.

Who's Afraid of Norway?

2006-02-06T21:11:00.000+02:00

So the following is from the front page of the Sunday Times of London. I know this guy in the article, Evan Nord, from my Arabic courses. I'm not going to go into this issue too much here. Here's a few thoughts, however, just in case you are wondering.

1. Damascus is covered with signs that tell all Syrians to avoid the following Danish companies . . . well, I can't name them because I never heard of any of them except for Legos!!

2. Lately, I've been feeling a bit of Schadenfreude with this whole 'cartoon' upheaval. I tell the kids from the EU: Hey, welcome the American reality in the middle east: most disfavored nation(s) status.

3. Sorry for the lack of posting on the blog . . . I've been busy with school and social stuff and mostly (however) Arabic. . . More to come, I promise.

The Sunday Times - World

The Sunday Times February 05, 2006

Focus: Freedom v faith: the firestorm
Not since the Salman Rushdie affair have secular Europe and Islam traded insults so vehemently. Stuart Wavell on the cartoons that threaten to force us apart

A small child led the religious chanting as the crowd converged on the French embassy in Damascus. They had come from the mosque where a preacher had inveighed against the "blasphemous cartoons" in Europe. It was not a wise place for a Norwegian to be.
By publishing Danish caricatures of the prophet Muhammad, a Norwegian newspaper had helped to pitch Europe into the worst cultural clash between Islamic religious beliefs and western freedom of expression since Salman Rushdie's book The Satanic Verses in 1989.

Even Nord, a Norwegian visitor to the local university, was curious to see the demonstration. Reaching the embassy, those in front began to scuffle with a line of police and the crowd's anger grew.

Then, without warning, a Syrian grabbed Nord and addressed the crowd: "This is my friend. He is a Norwegian and a good man."

A pin's drop could have been heard as a menacing silence came over the crowd. The Syrian then hoisted the Norwegian on to his shoulders and commanded: "Speak for your country."

The student surveyed his hostile audience for a moment before addressing them in Arabic. "This is just an embassy," he said in a loud, clear voice. "It is not the country. This incident is the result of lack of understanding. We need to understand each other better and then hopefully we will have the chance to live in togetherness and we can show proper respect for you. Inshallah (God willing)!" The crowd roared in approval. But the goodwill did not last: yesterday they set fire to the Danish, Norwegian and Swedish embassies.

KFC - Round Two

2006-01-30T21:29:00.000+02:00

Last night I was walking with a British friend of mine by the KFC and noticed a 'protest' of sorts: posters, banners, a guy with a megaphone and a substantial police presence standing guard. Despite what I expected to be an 'anti-american' flavor of this protest, I couldn't help but walk into the crowd and ask the protesters a few questions. As I've reported on this blog before, Syrians have been so forward about distinguishing their political views as aimed towards American policy and not as an attack on the American people; thus, i felt totally safe and without concern walking into this 'gathering'. I was also wearing my Syrian Flag scarf, literally 'wrapping myself' in Syrian nationalism - so I thought, correctly, that it would be no problem.

Most of the protesters were university students and I sought out a group of them and started asking some questions about what they were protesting; why they were protesting; what group the were involved in and what they thought about KFC coming to Syria.

Side Point I: Fighting my inner-nature and overwhelming impulse to confront with open debate and exchange, I wisely limited myself to asking questions. I cannot and do not "take the gloves off" in matters of politics - sometimes this makes me sad.

Side Point II Conversations like this are NOT the place to practice my Arabic. I don't want to be misunderstood or misinterpreted. Plus, I can control the conversation if i stick to English. Some occasions require such linguistic advantage. I can get all the Arabic I want out of other exchanges less fraught with politics and police and emotions.

Anyway, a group of Syrians - both guys and girls - seemed more than happy to entertain my questions. To the question - of which I knew the answer and expected the standard talking points for - Why are you protesting KFC? They responded with something like this: "We don't want any money to go to the American government who gives money to Israel and kills our people in Palestine and Iraq". I then asked them if they knew that the company was Kuwaiti and most of the money would go to the Gulf, they replied that they know that a certain percentage of the profit goes to the company. This was good, confirming that I was dealing with fairly informed and educated protesters. They asked me where I was from and I told them: America. They then told me, nearly falling over each other and in several different ways, that they love the american people and they didn't want to hurt my feelings or for me to see this as a personal attack on americans. Then they pointed out my Syrian scarf and seemed very pleased that I was wearing it. "Syria is my home this year" I told them. I then asked: "So then you guys are also for boycotting all american products, right" And they nodded and said yes. I said "Pepsi and Coke and Microsoft?" They roundly agreed until I got to Microsoft, saying: "Science and technology is different - we need and want our country to progress!" And then a girl whipped out an Arabic edition of "Scientific American" and showed it to me. I was polite and told them that avoiding KFC is a good thing to do because: "This is part of the reason that some Americans are very very fat". They were all very kind and sweet. While we were having this conversation someone who was wearing a leather jacket and had shinny shoes on stood close by and listened. I knew that he was much more concerned with what the Syrians were saying than what I was saying. . . thus I couldn't ask questions that could potentially moved them away from from nationalist talking points and thus get them into trouble.

A Survey of Arab Television: Part I - News

2006-01-22T20:09:00.000+02:00

One of the most noticeable - and from a purely aesthetic standpoint, unfortunate - elements of the Damascus skyline is the absurd amount of satellite dishes. Television is ubiquitous in Syrian life. Every business seems to have a t.v. . . . either to keep the owner/employees entertained when things are slow, or as entertainment for the customers. Only uber-fancy and more traditional restaurants seem to be (thankfully) without television. What are Syrians watching? What are the choices for entertainment? What's the deal with TV in Syria? Well, I'm going to break-down a few things that I've noticed in this SURVEY OF ARAB TV!

Q: What are the options ? What are people watching?

A: While I'm far from the Syrian branch of Nielsen, I'd put things into four major groups of entertainment/genres that seem to be often watched in both the public places and private homes: News, Music Videos, American Films, Arabic Soaps. This post will deal with 'News'!

1. NEWS OPTIONS:
Two major news channels seem to dominate here (and for local politics, people tune into Syrian Television): Al-Jazeera and Al-Arabia. Sadly and for reasons unknown, I don't get Al-Arabia on my satellite system. While people like Donald Rumsfeld have gone on record attacking Al-Jazeera for being an anti-American propaganda machine, I'm quite skeptical of such assertions as well as doubtful that Mr. Rumsfeld has actually seen much Al-Jazeera. Granted, Al-Jazeera is very critical of American Foreign policy - I see this as more of a reflection of viewer demographics and less as some deep-rooted attempt to turn the Arab viewing audience against the United States. I mean, one has to sell advertising, don't they? As with American media and the division between left-right oriented news outlets, I have a sense that people gravitate toward news channels that reinforce already held beliefs. God forbid that anyone should hear facts or arguments that are inconvenient to their political bent
The award for most unwatched channel appears to be the American-government run/supported channel "Al-Hura" which has two channels: one openly broadcasted from Iraq and appears to cover her exclusively. The other has a something vaguely appearing to be 'programming'. The title itself is a bit over the top. The Bush administration, never shy about engaging in "Politics and the English Language" and seemingly incapable of nuance, evidently settled upon the name Al-Hura: meaning 'Freedom' . . . . . This is so tacky and pathetically obvious, in title alone, that I wonder how this idea passed early 'screening' stages. According to my Syrian friends, no one watches this channel, and if they do they don't tune in for news. In fact, Syrians are fond of saying that if what they are seeing in Iraq is democracy: they don't want it.
Anyway, back to Al-Hura. Now, I don't know much about creating viewer pleasing programming; however, an hour-long documentary on Geisha Culture in Japan followed by News that seems to have some NON-Arabic Speaking representative from the American Government just doesn't sound like a recipe for success.
The picture here is of Secretary of State Condi Rice giving a speech at Georgetown University concerning a call for an increase and re-deployment of American diplomats. Al-Hura is covering this - this is fine in and of itself, many Arabic News organizations spend quite a bit of time covering the words and deeds of the US government. Where, however, Al-Hura differs from other networks, is that they cover these speeches LIVE and in their entirety - including, in this case, questions from Georgetown undergrads praying that one insightful (yet) softball question on C-SPAN and Al-Hura will secure them a dream job at the State Department.
I'd be shocked if American news networks covered this entire speech, especially if a high-speed and potentially violent car chase is in progress on the highways of Southern California. Sure, the Bush crew wants to bring democracy to the Middle East - I don't want to touch that issue on this blog - however, is it necessary to bring the really really really boring part of democracy to the Middle East? Winning hearts and minds is easier when it doesn't produce sleep. However, one saving grace is that Al-Hura re-broadcasts NBA games with Arabic sportscasters: and those guys do a pretty great job, actually. It's a shame that this program is only on weekends.

NOTE: Propaganda is most effective when:
1. Actually watched by the target audience.
2. Features exposed or partially exposed breasts.
3. Is accompanied by direct force.

I've also found - and perhaps I'm wrong on this and I don't have the data to back this up - but in watching a fair amount of Al-Jazeera, I find that they aren't covering the 'War in Iraq' nearly as much as they cover Palestine. In fact, I've been surprised at how relatively small the coverage the Iraqi war receives on Al-Jazeera. Part of this, I imagine, is related to the fact that it just isn't safe for them to send reporters into Iraq and unlike, perhaps, American news organizations, they may not be granted as much access and protection from American Forces. Granted, this is merely speculation on my part, which is itself part and parcel of having a blog: irresponsible and sanctimonious speculation.

Okay, readers, next post will be about 'fun TV' . . . . . . . . . . so break out the party-hats

Kentucky Fried Damascus – The Colonel Comes to Syria

2006-01-13T20:47:00.000+02:00

Today I could smell the 'spicy-style' KFC chicken a full block away from the new, shiny, fast-food place to arrive in Damascus. Yes, the Colonel has landed and unlike the normal Syrian distain for/ignorance of the concepts of intellectual-property and copyright law, this is a REAL KFC. (Syria has many places that openly rip-off western/american companies and chains – a place called 'Pizza Hot' that sells a similar product; a place called 'Subway' that is a sandwich place and nothing close to the chain; inhouse-coffee, which has shamelessly ripped-off the color-scheme and aesthetic of Starbucks. Furthermore, any average joe/khalid/ahmed can open a Harley Davidson, Diesel, or other kind of Western brand-name clothing/gear store by hiring someone to make a sign that proclaims this affiliation – can you smell the lawsuits? I love the smell of litigation in the morning, it smells like . . . . . . democracy!?!?!)

Anyway, KFC in Syria is a big deal. WHY? Well, to the best of my knowledge, KFC is now the first and only American-based company to open its doors in Syria. Owned (I think) by Pepsi – a product that I've heard was banned in Syria until recently due to alleged ties to the State of Israel – the KFC here is owned and operated by a major middle east franchise company based out of Kuwait and responsible for (according to what I've been told) Hardee's, KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell in Lebanon, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, and other Arab countries.

Oh, dear reader, if you are unaware of my family 'roots' . . . . well, they go deep into a wonderful soft serve, fast-food franchise that gives the makers of Crack and Paxil a run for their money. Obviously, I find the interaction of fast-food and politics particularly interesting.

So? What was the 'scene' at KFC? How are the Syrian masses reacting to this new business venture? Well, on one of the most important days of the Islamic calendar – the first day of Eid . . . . . . I stumbled into the KFC and found that the target market of KFC in Syria differs greatly from that in America. Parked outside included la parade of luxury vehicles – Land Rovers, BMW, Benz , a Porsche or two. The people parked inside included veiled and unveiled women, some with fur coats and south-east asian maids in tow. Their hands were greasy and mouths full of chicken while they spoke with their equally overdressed husbands: who smoked, wore designer sunglasses, and fumbled around with cellphones and spicy-fried-chicken thighs. Another demographic was groups of hip and wealthy teenagers who went crazy on their dinner combos and sucked down Pepsi and 'slaw' . . . . I've never felt 'under-dressed' for a KFC in my life . . . . . until I went to Syria.
Make no mistake – this isn't merely the opening of another fast-food restaurant, but rather an event ripe with political and social symbolism. I want to applaud the Syrian government, actually, for opening itself up for such investments. With all of the international attention directed toward Syria these days, it would be easy for the government to fall-back upon safe-historical precedents and shut out the rest of the world. Granted, this 'opening' may work as part of a stragedy to fight Syria's current plight – or perhaps the wheels were in spin far before such problems started - I don't know. I do know, however, that the spicy chicken is a winner.

(I'm waiting for my far-lefty friends in Seattle to start e-mailing me in mass about the world-wide evils of fast-food . . . .)

The Political Death of Sharon

2006-01-06T16:54:00.000+02:00

So last night I was at an internet cafe, looking over some recent world news headlines and I noticed "Sharon rushed to hospital" . . . of course, I did a double-take, thinking "didn't I just read that a few days ago?" Yes, this was his second visit and I had a sense that 'two strokes' in two weeks means that this might be big news. So rather than sleeping I stayed glued to the TV, going back and forth between Arabic News channels and BBC World. . . . . . Obviously, this is huge news in the region and many Syrians are talking about it. So, what is the vibe on the street? What is going on? Well, as always, it is hard to tell what Syrians are actually thinking but here's some quick reflections. I've not heard sorrow nor regret and I've even heard some happiness - however, I think that discussion of Sharon PRIOR to this recent event is quite revealing.

Oh, for dear readers that would like a bit more of a background on the man called the 'bulldozer' by his own people can check out this bio. Prior to last night, I've discussed prospects for peace with many Syrians - some of whom are displaced Palestinians themselves - and I was surprised to hear that while Sharon is universally hated and cursed by Syrians, many seemed to think that he might be the only person who could get Israel to make peace. Perhaps they were encouraged by the recent pull-out from Gaza. Perhaps the birth of a new Israeli party gave them hope. I don't know, honestly. Forgive him for the Sabra and Shatila massacre? Never. But a number of Syrians I spoke with were willing to say and think that perhaps the person you thought most unlikely to make peace is often the only person capable of delivering peace. Was this the case with Ariel Sharon? It looks like we will never know.

Christmas in Damascus

2005-12-24T19:44:00.000+02:00

merry christmas dear reader . . .

1. I went to a big 'tree lighting' thing in the neighborhood of Kassa (drop the "K" and you can pronounce it correctly). The picture is from that night. They 'lit' the tree and it was fairly unimpressive but the Syrians had their mobile camera phones pointed at the sky to capture it. I also saw several veiled muslim women milling around and trying to get into the holiday spirit.

2. A quick story I heard from a friend: These guys have been lining the streets selling superlame blinking Santa hats. Evidently, a group of kids were making fun of this guy for selling Christmas stuff and being Muslim by greeting him with the normal 'salam alaikum' . . . this time drenched in irony. His reply, however, is better . . . saying (in english) "F**k You" . . . . . ah the holidays warm my heart.

3. I'm going to a Christmas Party tonight and after that Midnight Mass - which most likely starts on Arab time . . . 1 AM.

4. Finally, I want to wish you all a very merry christmas from Syria . . . . more posts to come.

Bluejacking in Syria . . . .

2005-12-19T00:18:00.000+02:00

Warning: The following post contains references to lewd and sexual material; however, I am merely reporting the facts as I see them . . . from a distance.

For those of you - like me - who had no idea that technology had opened up another useless valve for pornography and entertainment and occasional business/educational productivity . . . well, let me give you a brief explanation:

bluejacking pp. Temporarily hijacking another person's cell phone by sending it an anonymous text message using the Bluetooth wireless networking system.
—bluejack v.
—bluejacker n.

another bit on bluejacking from wikipedia is nice and to the point.

Anyway, the point is a person can sit in a cafe, give their phone an ID, and then proceed to send and receive anonymous text messages or even better yet full-on video clips from strangers. I stumbled upon this a few days ago while I was hanging out with some Syrian friends in a cafe. My friend got this message (obviously in Arabic) making some kind of sexual 'hey you' pass at him. This opened up a whole discussion and I discovered that Syrians, armed to the hilt with $250 Nokia mobile phones, are doing crazy things with them. Aside from using them to flirt and plot sexual trysts, meet new friends, and play tricks on old friends . . . . they are also sending a great deal of wonderfully offensive material to each other. Case(s) in point: another Syrian friend of mine - after I asked him about this whole bluejacking thing - showed me a series of videos he's been randomly sent by strangers in cafes/university classes. Evidently, (some) young Syrians are using these phones to take video (porn) and then send it to each other randomly. One short clip allegedly featured a well-known Syrian soap actress in a (cough) series of comprising positions that were similar to but better picture quality than the Paris Hilton video that was widely circulated on the internet. Several other clips seemed to be random: along the lines of "Syrian Girls Gone Wild and Digital. (Sorry Syrians, not all of the 'cultural films' come from Lebanon) Another clip involved a man falling down some stairs. Still another clip, entitled Abu Ghraib, was a bit of a satire, showing a woman kicking a naked and chained-up man in the genitals - think America's Funniest Home Videos on crack. Again, I'm comforted that young men everywhere love the same stupid nonsense.

Trip to Palmyra

2005-12-14T15:09:00.000+02:00

I was lucky enough have a good friend visit me in Damascus this past week. After spending a few days in Damascus eating as much as possible, we took two days and went to Palmyra. The trip itself was wonderfully uneventful; however, the pre-departure was a nightmare. After spending the whole morning trying to get a decent bus to Palmyra and getting the ‘run-around’ from most every person we met, we finally decided to embrace our comparative wealth (compared to the natives) and rent a car. Most of my foreign friends thought we were totally out of our minds for willingly driving in Syria. Yet, I did not think driving was all that bad here . . . a trip across a mountain pass in the middle of winter is much worse than the traffic here. The major difference is people don’t seem to follow any traffic rules: blind-lane changes with a honk are the norm.

Sadly, I can’t do justice to the historical and archeological ruins of Palmyra. Thankfully, my friend is a MA student in architecture and thus had tons of insight concerning historical site. I have a final Arabic exam looming around the corner so I’m going to rely upon pictures for this post.

UPDATE: I spent 45 mins waiting at an internet cafe for my pictures to upload on to blogger. It was a huge pain. the cafe just switched back from DSL to dial-up for mysterious reasons. Anyway, expect more pictures (and large ones as well) to come. Sorry for the temporary lameness . . . text is much easier to put up on the net.

Sorry . . . a real post to come. . .

2005-12-12T00:24:00.000+02:00

Sorry faithful reader(s). I've been doing some traveling and lots and lots of arabic as of late. . .
I have a motherload of new pictures and some thoughts that I will be posting (hopefully) within the next few days. Sorry for the delay!!!!

In the meantime . . . a British friend of mine told me a few of the faux pas made by "Prince Philip" . . . I laughed so hard (with horror) that I decided to list a few here for your entertainment. (stolen from wikiquote.org) Expect a 'proper posting' soon.

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
From Wikiquote

Prince Philip (born 10 June 1921) Consort of Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom
"Where did you get that hat?" (1953)

To his wife the Queen, immediately after her coronation
"British women can't cook." (1966)

"The bastards murdered half my family.." (1967)
When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union

"What do you gargle with - pebbles?" (1969)
Notes: Said to Tom Jones after the The Royal Variety Performance.

"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." (1981)
Notes: Said during the 1981 recession.

"You must be out of your minds.." (1982)
To Solomon Islanders, on being told that their population growth was 5% a year.

"You are a woman, aren't you?" (1984)
Notes: Said in Kenya, to a native woman who had presented him with a small gift.

"If you stay here much longer you'll all get slitty eyed." (1986)
Notes: Said to British students in China.

"If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine the Cantonese will eat it." (1986)

Notes: Said at a World Wildlife Fund meeting.
"Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world." (1991)
Notes: Said in Thailand, after accepting a conservation award.

"You can't have been here that long - you haven't got a pot belly." (1993)
Notes: Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary.

"Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" (1994)
Notes: Said to an islander in the Cayman Islands.

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" (1995)
Notes: Said to a driving instructor in Scotland.

"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (1996)
Notes: Said amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting.

"Bloody silly fool!" (1997)
Notes: Was referring to a Cambridge University car park attendant who failed to recognise him.

"You managed not to get eaten, then?" (1998)
Notes: Said to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea.

"It looks like it was put in by Indians." (1999)
Notes: Said after he saw a poorly constructed fusebox.

"Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf." (1999)
Notes: Said to young deaf people in Cardiff, referring to a school's steel band.

"Do you still throw spears at each other?" (2002)
Notes: To an Aboriginal man on Australia's Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park.

"You were playing your instruments, weren't you? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?" (2002)
Notes: Said to a children's band in Australia.

"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" (2002)
Notes: Said to a blind woman with a guide dog.

"If you travel as much as we do you appreciate how much more comfortable aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.." (2002)
Commenting during the Jubilee tour).

"The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism we could stop the congestion.." (2002)
Commenting on the London traffic debate, after mayor Ken Livingstone forced through his plan to charge motorists £5 to enter the city.

"French cooking's all very well, but they can't do a decent English breakfast.." (2002)
Aboard the floating restaurant 'Il Punto' on the river Orwell in Ipswich, after thoroughly enjoying an excellent full English breakfast (Il Punto is owned by Frenchman Regis Crepy).

"It is surprising the way things have changed since I first became chancellor of a university 50 years ago." (2003) Source: Opening a new reseach centre at the University of York.
Notes: The statement was widely misrepresented as referring to the University of York itself, rather than the University of Edinburgh, of which Prince Philip is Chancellor. (The York Chancellor at the time was Janet Baker, and the university was celebrating its fortieth anniversary.)

"It doesn't look like much work goes on at this University" (2005)
Notes: Overheard at Bristol University's BLADE (Bristol Laboratory for Advanced Dynamic Engineering) facility, which had been closed in order that he and the Queen could officially open it

"You look like you're ready for bed!"
Said to the President of Nigeria, who was dressed in traditional robes.

Syria in bits . . .

2005-11-28T22:41:00.000+02:00

The following is a dumper/list of observations that I thought worth mentioning. I just put the beat down on a 24-hour illness/bug and thought this would be part of my rally. I think, once again, I had some food that didn’t quite sit right with me.

1. Whores, Whores, Whores.
I recently found out that Eastern European and Russian women between the ages of 18-30ish are not allowed into Lebanon. I have a friend who is Croatian but her family has been in Germany for over 35 years – but her passport is still Croatian. Recently, she tried for the second time to visit Beirut and like the first time, she was not allowed to enter the country.

The Reasoning: Clearly, any and all women from Eastern Europe and Russia are prostitutes. I think we can all rally around and come to an ill-informed and discriminatory international consensus on this.

The Irony: Just watch music videos from Lebanon and notice how chaste and modest the sweat-covered, half-naked, Lebanese pop-tarts of lust are when they shake their impressive ‘bid-ness’ for the camera . . . and one can clearly see that the government wouldn’t want lewd foreign women to sully their already pristine asexual culture – or perhaps they are afraid of the competition. (Easy now, rude boys)

2. Illness in the Middle East: a difference
When people get sick in the States and I’m guessing Europe as well . . . the rule tends to be that ‘We’ give the person a great deal of personal space and assume they don’t want to be bothered while ill. When I’m sick, I’m not really keen on too many people being up-in-my-business: I prefer to be left alone. Here, things are much different. I had to explain to a Syrian friend of mine that his foreign friends, when sick, just don’t want to be bothered with constant check-ups by every person they know. From what I understand this community/family closeness during illness is fairly standard across cultures in the 2nd and 3rd World.

3. Top recent Syrian Quotes: (sadly these conversations were in English)
1. “If you fart in front of the bedu (Bedouins) . . . . they will kill you.”
2. “The girls in Syria are very beautiful and they don’t have the AIDS”

4. Living Room remodel:
So my host family has been feverously redoing the entire of their already fairly nice (by neighborhood standards) living room. Why? Well, the only daughter of the family is in the process of getting engaged . . . . . and from what I understand ‘process’ is the most appropriate word here. After spending weeks refurnishing they have moved all family business (the TV, all meals, guests, hanging out) to an adjacent bedroom, leaving the new room entirely uninhabited while covering the new furniture with plastic and sheets.
Again . . . why? They have this ‘stage’ set-up and ready for the day wherein the ‘guy’ brings his family over for some kind of formal or preliminary engagement process. (Again, I’m a bit fuzzy on the rules here – I tried to get a Syrian friend of mine to explain it and he said it was too involved and complex and maybe stressful to discuss) Yesterday I thought it was ‘on’ from my barely-lucid, food-poisoned state; however, later on I was reassured that this was merely a false alarm, prompting 30 min of pointless primping and cleaning before discovering that today would not be the day. I’ll keep you, dear reader, updated on this breaking story as information becomes available.

The Script

2005-11-18T22:41:00.000+02:00

I’ve found that most of my daily interactions with Syrians that I don’t know – ranging from barber shops, restaurants, taxis, shops, etc – tend to follow a specific protocol, a very loose but predictable script. The following is my attempt to summarize all these interactions into one basic ‘script’ . . . obviously, every conversation is different, often times depending upon the person’s stats: religion, class, gender, etc . . . . as well as the 'location' of the conversation. This does not include Syrian folks that I’ve befriended or know fairly well. So, dear reader, I offer you a translated (from my broken Arabic) approximation of my daily conversations:

Syrian: Hello* (this includes a litany of longer greetings that seem to never end)

Me: Hello* (this also includes a long series of replies and counter-greetings)

Syrian: Are you from Germany? (Or, where are you from?)

Me: No, I’m from America – from Seattle. I’m a studying Arabic here . . .

Syrian: OOH. American. Welcome to Syria.

***I’m very straightforward about my nationality in Syria. I’ve never had anyone attack me personally for being an American. In my experience, Syrians appear to make the distinction between the actions of a government and her people. Actually, I haven’t felt restricted by my American status, but rather I’ve found that after telling them where I’m from, they grow noticeably more interested in talking to me***

Also . . .

*** At this point, the conversation can take several different paths – depending upon various factors. But since this is creative non-fiction, let’s pretend that these conversations all move in the same chronological order****

Syrian: How long will you be in Syria and do you like it?

Me: I’ll be here for the year. And I love Syria. The people are very nice, the food is excellent, and I love the culture. I eat all the time and I will be very fat but very happy when I return to America (This and other ‘stock-jokes’ almost always provoke laughter from the Syrians – they are very serious about the food here and it is amazing)

Syrian: Are you Muslim? (or) Are you Christian?
(Sorry folks - only two choices for this one)

Me: I’m Christian – Latin/Roman Catholic.

Syrian: Are you married? (This question comes up every-once-and-awhile and tends to be asked by older folks more than younger people – also, foreign female students often get asked more often)

Me: No, I’m not married. (I don’t really like marriage talk, so I often deflect this question by asking a question I already know the answer to . . . namely, ARE Syrians getting married much later than their parent’s generation, as is the case in the States? (and the answer is yes) Other times, if a younger guy asks me this question, we tend to congratulate each other for not being married.)

At this point, with basic introductions out the way, my conversations tend to move toward one of two topics.

1. Movies and Music. These discussions tend to be the best in terms of not being ‘touchy’ . .. thus not requiring me to carefully navigate language, culture, politics, religion, and the government. The Syrians I’ve met have often consumed more American films than most folks in the States, learning bits of English from them. Actually, I’ll do a separate post on the ‘pirated’ DVD/VCD industry in Syria – pictures and examples included – sometime in the future. Assuming, of course, that the store clerks will let me photograph their massive load of copyright infringement. Anyway, music is also a good subject – however, this also deserves it’s own post.

2. The Political Discussion: occasionally I discuss politics with people, but very carefully. For politics to enter the discussion, one of four things must occur:

a. They bring up Bush or politics.

b. They specifically ask me why I study Arabic and/or what I want to do for a living. This prompts me to tell them that I want to be a professor who studies the history/politics/culture of the Middle East – of course I’m most interested in politics, but adding these things tends pad my interests a bit. Anyway, this often prompts a political discussion.

c. I can tell from the look on their face, after I say I’m from the States, that some reassurance that I’m anti-Bush might be helpful. So I attack Bush – not that difficult here. I have many stock-jokes and statements that go over very well here. I also find it helpful that I believe in what I saying as well.

d. Finally, if a television is present and the news is on and covering war in Iraq, or replaying Bush saying something totally inappropriate and or threatening, etc. . . . then I tend to call the war a shame and a huge problem.

HOWEVER:
I don’t, however, introduce the political when the news features UN reports or assassinations of, say, major political leaders of neighboring nations; nor do I discuss the political when the President of Syria (hence forth known as the Lion II) is speaking or being spoken about on the TV. Finally, it should go without saying, also, that as a rule I don’t discuss the pieces of land lost in 1967 nor the broader conflict with the New Kids on the Middle East Nationalist Block (1948) . . . (cough)

He's Big in Damascus

2005-11-13T00:20:00.000+02:00

So, dear reader, I just had a rather unexpected and wonderful evening. A French friend of mine told me of her Syrian friend who is an actor and wanted to work on his American accent and get a better sense of American culture and arts - and she suggested me for a 'language exchange' with this guy. I agree, not knowing what to expect. Well, I met 'the actor' tonight and slowly during the course of the evening I discovered that he's a very well-known actor on Syrian TV shows - He's BIG in Damascus. While drinking some coffee and sitting in the (first) restaurant, several little girls came up to the table asking for autographs. People were always looking in our direction and pointing. Later, a friend of his showed up and we all went to get a bite to eat - while in traffic, several people rolled down their windows to greet him; while on the street three veiled women asked to pose for a picture with him. I had a great time with 'the actor' and his friend; we went back-and-forth in English and Arabic, covering most every subject imaginable. While at the restaurant, the magazine called "Our Nights" (translated from Arabic) took our picture and will publish it in next month's edition of 'party pictures' (most of the magazine) in Damascus. Actually, a British friend was in "Our Nights" last month, his picture taken while he was at some diplomatic party for one of the Gulf countries - at the same party and on-the-same page, another picture of well dressed men was accompanied by the caption: GUESTS . . . . this is because they were the well-known leaders of Hamas.
Anyway, I had a wonderful time, picked up a fair amount of spoken Syrian Arabic, and I think I made some new friends. All-in-all . . . . a very good evening.

ps: those of you wanting to post comments without joining blogger - I just switched the setting so that anyone can now post. Please, keep it slightly clean and reasonable and if you know me . . . please refrain from using my name. thanks.

Syrian Parlor Games . . .

2005-11-07T18:36:00.000+02:00

So this weekend I walk through the living room of my Syrian family to use the bathroom. Although I 'hang' with the family quite a bit - mostly making mistake after mistake with my Arabic - I tend to shy away during the weekends or when they have a lot of guests over and it seems like 'special family time'. Anyway, this weekend was like most weekends,
tons of family are over, drinking coffee, talking, and smoking in abundance. But, unlike my previous weekends here, they have a scale out and are weighing Grandma before launching into a group discussion on her weight. After I finish using the bathroom, I walk back through the living room and they invite me to get on the scale. I get on and because it is the metric system - the numbers mean absolutely nothing to me. However, the family then proceeds to discuss my weight at length with several family members noting that I am very tall - a kind way of saying that I weigh more than all of them. The 'height-factor' prompted a group speculation of my height - I'm unsure of how close they were because, again, the rest of the world and their metric system.

Of course, I find all of this hilarious. Mostly because I try to imagine a similar situation occurring in NEVER DISCUSS YOUR WEIGHT America, wherein a family weekend breaks into a amateur boxing weigh-in/open panel discussion combo platter. I invite friends and family in the States - perhaps those of you planning family reunions for this summer - to engage in this parlor game.

Bizarro World - Syria

2005-11-04T15:27:00.000+02:00

Culture(s) Shock!
***Sorry, if this is a scattered post – however, as you will see the content and subject somehow correspond to the style*** (a cop-out)

Has anyone seen these ‘Culture Shock’ books on the Middle East? The book cover features an ominous, slasher-type writing on a black background. In reality, I haven’t experienced all that much culture shock during my first month in Syria. I don’t walk around wondering “who are the crazy, foreign people with their wacky customs” . . . . . rather I’ve often been struck with a dizzying juxtaposition of cultures, a disorienting whiff of globalization that leaves me confused and placeless. I’ve experienced this before, actually, when I was an undergrad and traveling in Belfast, Northern Ireland. I vividly remember walking around the Catholic areas and then the Protestant areas and then somehow turning up in an American style mall. In both the Catholic and Protestant areas a specific sense of ‘place’ is constantly re-enforced – wherein murals are crafted with nationalist iconography, colors are worn that correspond to tribal allegiance, curbs are painted, and flags displayed. Then, I walked into a “MALL” and felt that I was simultaneously everywhere and no-where.
I get a similar feeling when walking around in Syria. The daily Islamic calls to prayer, broadcasted from speakers surrounding Bab Touma, don’t phase me nor do the veiled women or any other event typical of the ‘oriental experience’; however, what rattles me the most, what after a month still catches me off-guard is hearing Bon Jovi “It’s My Life” playing on the streets, then walking into an internet café and half-watching ‘8-Mile’ (staring Eminem) while I’m surrounded by Arab-Roman-Catholic style iconography, then leaving and seeing graffiti concerning ‘Slayer!’ (the band) and 50 cent (fiffiy cent – the rapper). I just don’t expect terrible American culture to follow me everywhere!

America – Exporting Crappy Pop Culture since 1776!

More Evidence: (from today alone)
ONE: I walked into inhouse coffee – the Syrian Starbucks rip-off – ordered a decent latte in a sadly familiar green aesthetic, watched R. Kelly on the TV and then stepped back out into the Middle East. (Note my terrible photographs of ‘inhouse coffee’)
TWO: I’m speaking Arabic with some Syrian guys about Macintosh verses PCs, and one of the guy’s cell phones goes off . . . and of course his ring tone is super loud, insufferable Celine Dion song.

So . . . welcome, dear reader, to the Damascus experience; wherein one can walk to the very old Omayyad Mosque, pray in a place built in the year 709 AD, then walk 100 yards to a shop and pick up a pirated version of Angels in America with Arabic subtitles - a 6 hour mini-series on AIDS, homosexuality, and Regan Politics of the 1980s – and finally return home to catch reruns of Friends or maybe listen to a speech from a major leader in Hezbollah.

AND . . . it is this bizzarro world Syria, dear reader, where I lay the blame for obliterating my sense of place and bulldozing carefully constructed categories of understanding. Of course, it should go without saying that I’m actually delighted by this development.

ps: 'just a perfect day' - the slogan for inhousecoffee (as featured above). Lou Reed might be responsible for the minds behind this slogan, although I'm sure that they didn't hear it until they saw the film Trainspotting - used ironically in an overdose scene. Perhaps this isn't the warm fuzzy assoication the marketing gang at Inhouse Coffee were aimming for?

A Quick List . . . .

2005-10-29T18:57:00.000+02:00

Hello Dear reader: once again your faithful blogging monkey, kicky sack, has fallen ill.
I don't know what my deal is here but I'm poppin' Syrian pharmaceuticals like M&Ms - they seem to help until I fall ill again.

Anyway, here's a run down of some thoughts in no particular order. Believe it or not, I'm actually working on a real 'post' on my Mac laptop back at my place, however I'm not happy with what I have written and I've been blowing my nose all over my keyboard. In short, excuse my ramble - I wrote this on the run.

1. Beverly Hills Cop Theme Song, remixed and all over Syria:
If I have to hear this song one more time - I'm going to take a hostage. I hear this song in cars that thump (yes, they have that here as well) and bars that bump house-music. For some reason, the song makes me want to roll across the hoods of cars and sneak around buildings, gun drawn. It does not, however, make me want to dance, dance dance. Yes, I went to a club the other night. I hate clubs but I felt obligated to go to this Halloween thing; so I went. For some reason I always think that THIS time it will be different, that this time I might be able to have a conversation with someone or enjoy the music. HA. Never going to happen. Actually, I enjoyed dancing and going out in La Crosse, WI with my friends from my Arabic Program this summer; however, they don't play Prince and Sultana does not dance on the stairs in Damascus.

2. If Karl Rove gets some grand jury love - I'm going to have a 'Karl Rove got indicted Party' and have everyone dress-up as different symbolic counts against him: obstruction of justice, perjury, etc. YAY!

3. I had an exam today. Not hard. I'm not crazy about the program here - in terms of Arabic instruction - but have been lucky enough to find a great tutor. It looks like my official Arabic course will be secondary in importance and value as my private sessions.

4. Rave I: Please read Philip Roth's Plot Against America - Don't even get me started on how weird it is to be in a cafe in Damascus (during my first couple weeks here) and find myself in this fictional American Nightmare and the poke my head up and find myself in Damascus.

5. Rave II: Documentary Film entitled "War in Lebanon" . . . I managed to see the beginning of this recently and have nothing but great things to say about it. In depth, well written and directed with excellent guest commentators. And, hey Americans . . . if you watch it and then look at the DVD cover you might be shocked that it is Al Jazeera - because it has the tonality of PBS. (Somewhere, members of the GOP are taking this comparison the wrong way). Check out Arab Film Distribution - they sell copies of it. Well worth the price.

6. It rained today. I got super wet and had thoughts of wonderful Seattle. When it rains here, however, the city becomes a bit of an oil slick and traffic turns into a larger mess than usual.

Faux Pas - Round 1

2005-10-21T16:24:00.000+02:00

Please excuse, dear reader, the delirium of this post for I have recently suffered two days of my first illness in the Middle East. As much as I’m tempted to disclose the lewd details of my illness, I’ll skip over such unpleasant facts and report on some events, thoughts, and experiences that occurred prior to my two days living off of 7-UP and ‘Kack’ (the Middle East equivalent to soda crackers, albeit a much less pleasant name). Due to my illness, I’m going to try to keep everything digestible on this post. Thus, enjoy the light offering and I’ll be back with some more ‘heavy’ social and cultural probing in the near future.

Cultural faux pas 101 –

As opposed to most travel-blogs, I’m willing to engage in a full 1/16ths total disclosure of the world around me including social blunders committed by yours truly. Sadly, I don’t have a chain of recent mistakes but rather one ‘Westerner’ mistake that I want to pair with a faux pas made by one of my Arabic teachers who dared to extend her fashion choices into the annals of American history.

Faux Pas I: I hadn’t bought bread yet. Sure, I’ve had a few croissants and maybe some Arabic food that featured bread, but I hadn’t bought bread AS such. So I swing by a bakery right outside Bab Touma (the Christian quarter of the old city, Christian being an important part here) and see ONLY three plastic wrapped packages of bread that seemingly call my name. I went to the register and was met with less than an enthusiastic look from the nice girl with a crucifix around her neck. She says several words indicating something clearly negative. At the time I couldn’t make out the words . . . but after a bit of a back-and-forth I get the idea that, for reasons beyond my comprehension, this bread isn’t for me. I then move back to croissants, hear the familiar word for cheese croissant, buy three and call it a day . . .
Here’s what I find out later: I was trying to buy the BODY OF CHRIST pre-transfiguration. As a former alter boy with at least some background in this issue, I had thought the Catholic Church had set some guidelines on shape and color, or at the very least some parameters on authorized dealers of the Eucharist. The same thing happened to a British friend of mine – although he somehow was able to purchase the stuff anyway.

Faux Pas II A few days ago my Arabic teacher – a nice young woman who runs a pretty good Arabic class – walked into the room with a unique head wrap. She doesn’t ‘veil’ in the traditional Muslim sense, but generally lets her hair flow freely. This day, however, she went with a ‘maid’ do-rag type getup. Here’s the kicker – her fabric of choice just happened to be the Confederate Flag, fashioned in such a way that the blue stripe with stars ran from her forehead to the back of her neck: a less inclusive version of Mr. T’s Mohawk. I shot glances around the room and noticed that the other Americans and Brits also had baffled looks on their faces.
A moral question: Should I tell her that her fashion accessory is historically symbolic of the enslavement of an entire race of people? Or would it be better to just let this one slide? I seriously doubt she’s trying to rekindle her relationship with her ‘southern roots’ – more likely she is oblivious as to the flag’s meaning and selected it because it matched her shirt. Obviously, I elected NOT to tell her the back-story of her fashion choice. If and only if she’s planning a trip to the United States, will I then inform her of the deal.

Final thought (ala Jerry Springer):
About a week ago some friends and I went to the British Council in hopes of finding a suitable place to study. We found one for a spell, until we were kicked out of one of the classrooms. Whatever. While in the classroom I noticed the following questions written on the board, leftovers from an earlier English class:

1. What do you think will happen in the world after 10 years?
2. What are the three wishes you hope to become real?
3. What’s your opinion about your teacher?
4. In England there are “transvestites” – men who wear women’s clothes. What are some of the possible problems with this?
5. If you could travel any where in the world, where would you go and why?

Included are some unrelated photos from various roof tops in Bab Touma.

Also - some potential bad news for this American wanting a warmer relationship between his home country and his new adpoted country.

Pictures for now . . . talk soon.

2005-10-16T15:50:00.000+02:00

Sorry for the lack of comment on this picture. I walked around and acted like a tourist yesterday. I figure that I better get that in now rather than turn into a full-on student and forget to do these things. Actually, this blog thing is nice for that reason. Anyway, I have an extended narrative that goes along with a larger group of pictures . . . hopefully i'll post that within a day or two. But for now, all you have to know is that I took this pictures around the Omayyad Mosque today. I'm running out of power on my laptop . . . so i'll have to save the other pictures for later.

Modern Ruins

2005-10-13T18:37:00.000+02:00

Welcome back, avid reader.

1. I took these pictures of a huge, unfinished, and/or shelved mosque the other today (see what consumed most of my day and brought me to central Damascus below). Sadly, these pictures fail to capture the size and ambition of this project. In terms of downtown Damascus, nothing else takes up an entire city block, not even fancy-pants-5-star hotels or the big domestic banks. On my first trip to the University my sarcastic and bright German flatmate pointed it out to me. According to what he’s been told, the mosque was an Iranian sponsored project, construction starting shortly after Khomeini came to power; however, due to structural deficiencies (it was going to fall down) it was abandoned. Furthermore, he said that tearing it down would be too expensive and or dangerous. This section is in bold because I’m trying to get some information and perhaps you, avid reader, can contribute some knowledge to my post. If you know anything, feel free to post a comment or e-mail me a link or some information. I’m curious to know more about the mini-history of this building.

I asked a taxi driver a few questions about the building today. He said it was either started or abandoned or something 15 years ago: clearly a few glitches still remain in my spoken Arabic. He also said something about water being underneath the building: a problem for sure.

It is strange. Surrounded by stunning Islamic architecture, some of the most ancient and studied in the world, I’m drawn to this unfinished shell of a building. Sometimes ambition and failure produce more interesting stories than that of ho-hum success. My German flatmate told me of his plans to e-mail Christo and have him do some insane instillation on the unfinished mosque: say cover the whole of it with tin foil or the dark green cloth of Islam. However, in terms of symbolic politics, I highly doubt a Western artist will be able to transform, recast, veil, or ‘improve upon’ a somewhat disappointing spiritual icon of Damascus. The broad metaphorical meaning of such an act would be a bit dicey. I hope this shell stays around for a few hundred years. Syria is not short on ancient ruins that mark the coming and going of different epochs; so perhaps it isn’t at all inappropriate for us moderns to add to the rubble.

2. What was I doing downtown? Well, two nights ago I went to go withdraw some money from the ATM. I had been told (by other students) that I ought to use ONLY one specific ATM: the Saudi/French bank right outside the gates of Bab Touma. Give me a ‘Check Minus’ on listening skills and staying on task, because I saw an ATM and thought why not? Well, the ATM swallowed my one and only means to money and didn’t give it back. So I went to three different branches of the same Syrian Bank, slowly making my way through and around various layers of bureaucracy. After lots of walking and a cab ride, I found myself on the VISA floor of the Main Bank. They promised me that they would fish my card out and told me it would be an hour. After being sitting in a juice bar and finding myself totally engrossed in a Sesame Street styled kids show for an hour, I returned to the bank and was delighted to wrap grubby American hands around my plastic. Everyone I dealt with was very nice – and person-by-person – increasingly helpful. In terms of ‘freaking out’ - I surprised myself with how calmly I dealt with all of this. Of course, having made good new friends who offered me loans right away was central. I guess being a new arrival in a place allows one to chalk everything up to an adventure. Had the same thing occurred in the United States, I’m sure I would have just been annoyed. All things considered, it was bordering on but not quite rolling-in . . . the fun zone.

NEWS FLASH: Cue up the Jefferson's theme Song - I'm movin' on up - to another house. Sadly, it isn't a dee-luxe apartment in the sky, nor is it on the east side, but it is far better than my other place: better lit and much larger room along with a Western toliet as well as a quiet place to study. I'm pretty happy about it.

The Basics

2005-10-08T17:55:00.000+02:00

An update on Fulla: (see below)
My host family’s 8 year-old girl gets pretty happy every time a commercial for Fulla is on the TV or some Fulla related product enters her field of vision. Here’s the kicker – the family is Christian so I’m fairly sure her parents aren’t pushing her towards an ‘Islamic Barbie’; however, she has equal enthusiasm for Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. So I think the best one can say is: if you market it, they will come.

The Basics:

(for those stumbling upon this blog and don’t know the author)

1.0: I’m an American Graduate student (specializing in International Relations: Middle East) studying Arabic in Damascus for the year. And no, I’m not German so if you are in Damascus and you see me: please don’t start with the crazy German talk.

1.1: As opposed to Professor Josh Landis – author of a Syria blog that drops daily knowledge and insight, backed up with 20 plus years of study – I’m just getting my feet wet and don’t presume to know enough to really dig into Syrian politics in any meaningful way. And even, inshallah, if I did have something worthwhile to say, I don’t think I’m ready for Blog-Politics. So . . . . . . . . . . . if you want the meat, head to Professor Landis’ page, you want a lite-salad and maybe a side of humus; I’m your man.

And hence my blog –‘And some time take the time’ (see the inspiration for this title) – will serve as a random, rambling travel-blog with occasional political insights, mostly observational thoughts on my experiences in Syria; sometimes I might throw in some music opinions, odd stories, amateur photography, and occasional gaaarabge talking.

1.2 And no, I don’t know your cousin who used to live in Syria and now lives in New Jersey.

1.3 And no, I don’t feel that I’ve made my way to some unsafe country in the heart of the ‘war torn Middle East’ wherein beheadings and ass-kickings are supposedly par for the course. Rather, Damascus is very mellow – at least in terms of my survey of daily life. I don’t doubt that some things may or may not be shifting underneath and I don’t have the linguistic skills or the cultural wherewithal to decode them; however, in terms of pure safety, the most life-threatening thing I deal with is crossing the street. (Not to be taken lightly) Traffic is a nightmare but often entertaining, especially when nice cars nearly knock down houses while trying to navigate themselves through the narrow, crowded streets of the old city.

Here are some more jumbled thoughts for those of you still interested:

2.0 File Under Travel Suggestion:

Dear Tourists, if you are a non-Muslim traveling to the Middle East during Ramadan . . . PLEASE reframe from eating or smoking in public during the daylight hours. I don’t know if Zogby has polled Muslims on their attitudes on this or not but whatever. I just find it tacky and lame. So pick a restaurant that is open during daylight hours, sit down, eat, drink, smoke, become annoyed with the 9th Fairuz song in a row, and I promise that you won’t offend the guy with a crucifix tattoo on his hand. Unless you do or say something unbelievably stupid. Then shame on you.

PS
code name: kicky sack
I hate hacky sack however i bust out laughing everytime i say kicky sack to myself outloud - hence, kicky sack.

To friends and family:

Here are some pictures and basics – lacking my punchy and sardonic commentary – about my life here:

I live with a nice family in the Old City of Damascus. They are wonderful and sweet.

Tomorrow I’m going to go fight what I’ve been told to be the infinitely complex red-tape of the Syrian education system. I’m fairly certain some vaguely interesting narrative will come out of this . . .

My Arabic sometimes works and sometimes falls and fails completely. Mostly fails but sometimes I have actual exchanges with people.

I’m eating very well and enjoying myself a great deal. It already feels like home.

Look for more news/updates/pictures in the near future . . .

Bestseller in Mideast: Barbie With a Prayer Mat

2005-09-22T22:20:00.000+03:00

Katherine Zoepf has an interesting piece in a recent New York Times article (below) discussing the bestselling Muslim Barbie named Fulla. I've not even left for Damascus yet and one Arab American friend is already requesting that I bring him a Fulla doll back to the States because he finds it hilarious.

I'm not sure what the Sales Rep pushing Fulla dolls meant by her statement : "You have to create a character that parents and children will want to relate to. Our advertising is full of positive messages about Fulla's character. She's honest, loving, and caring, and she respects her father and mother."

As a non-parent . . . . . a punchy opening to any op-ed paragraph . . . something about the invented 'character' of a plastic doll is difficult for me to understand. I mean, I don't think I would cared if G.I. Joe huffed gas, refused to pay child support, or was up on charges for his involvement in My Lai . . . and, I don't think it would have mattered to my parents either. Then again, I was effectively banned from 'Garbage Pail Kids' collector cards for a period of time; however, I'm 100% sure that my parents didn't seek out 'value-based' toys.

I don't know if American kids or parents embrace the advertised and constructed characters of Barbie or GI Joe or Elmo as much as they found them aesthetically pleasing. Then again, Jesus Approved toys and accompanying narratives are widely abundant - albeit totally lame - across the United States. Check out an American equivalent to toys and cartoons inspired by religious values . . .

I'm sure armchair cultural critics will uphold these dolls as some how emblematic of whatever it was that they wanted to say before this article came out; most likely some permutation of the often discussed status of women issue. However, while Fulla certianly has a gender dimension, it might say more about two seemingly opposed cultural currents: the revival of Islamic values and growing American-style consumerism in the Middle East.

Damascus Journal

Bestseller in Mideast: Barbie With a Prayer Mat

By KATHERINE ZOEPF

Published: September 22, 2005

DAMASCUS, Syria, Sept. 21 - In the last year or so, Barbie dolls have all but disappeared from the shelves of many toy stores in the Middle East. In their place, there is Fulla, a dark-eyed doll with, as her creator puts it, "Muslim values."

Jeroen Kramer/Getty Images, for The New York Times

The very popular Fulla doll is sold in the Middle East wearing either a black abaya or a white head scarf and long coat. Under these modest coverings, the dolls wear fashionable dresses.

The special line of Fulla licensed clothing for girls, left, is also very popular. Fulla was introduced in November 2003 and has quickly become a best seller.

Fulla roughly shares Barbie's size and proportions, but steps out of her shiny pink box wearing a black abaya and matching head scarf. She is named after a type of jasmine that grows in the Levant, and although she has an extensive and beautiful wardrobe (sold separately, of course), Fulla is usually displayed wearing her modest "outdoor fashion."

Fulla's creator, NewBoy Design Studio, based in Syria, introduced her in November 2003, and she has quickly become a best seller all over the region. It is nearly impossible to walk into a corner shop in Syria or Egypt or Jordan or Qatar without encountering Fulla breakfast cereal or Fulla chewing gum or not to see little girls pedaling down the street on their Fulla bicycles, all in trademark "Fulla pink."

Young girls here are obsessed with Fulla, and conservative parents who would not dream of buying Barbies for their daughters seem happy to pay for a modest doll who has her own tiny prayer rug, in pink felt. Children who want to dress like their dolls can buy a matching, girl-size prayer rug and cotton scarf set, all in pink.

Fulla is not the first doll to wear the hijab, a traditional Islamic head covering worn outside the house so a woman's hair cannot be seen by men outside her family. Mattel markets a group of collectors' dolls that include a Moroccan Barbie and a doll called Leila, intended to represent a Muslim slave girl in an Ottoman court. In Iran, toy shops sell a veiled doll called Sara. A Michigan-based company markets a veiled doll called Razanne, selling primarily to Muslims in the United States and Britain.

But none of those dolls have enjoyed anything approaching Fulla's wide popularity. Fawaz Abidin, the Fulla brand manager for NewBoy, said that was because NewBoy understood the Arab market in a way that its competitors had not.

"This isn't just about putting the hijab on a Barbie doll," Mr. Abidin said. "You have to create a character that parents and children will want to relate to. Our advertising is full of positive messages about Fulla's character. She's honest, loving, and caring, and she respects her father and mother."

Though Fulla will never have a boyfriend doll like Barbie's Ken, Mr. Abidin said, a Doctor Fulla and a Teacher Fulla will be introduced soon. "These are two respected careers for women that we would like to encourage small girls to follow," he said.

On the children's satellite channels popular in the Arab world, Fulla advertising is incessant. In a series of animated commercials, a sweetly high-pitched voice sings the Fulla song in Arabic ("She will soon be by my side, and I can tell her my deepest secrets") as a cartoon Fulla glides across the screen, saying her prayers as the sun rises, baking a cake to surprise her friend Yasmeen, or reading a book at bedtime - scenes that, Mr. Abidin said, are "designed to convey Fulla's values."

A series of commercials seems more familiarly sales-oriented, starring young Syrian actresses who present Fulla silverware, Fulla stationery, Fulla luggage and, of course, new accessories for Fulla herself. "When you take Fulla out of the house, don't forget her new spring abaya!" says one commercial.

In Damascus, a Fulla doll sells for about $16, in a country where average per capita income hovers around $100 per month. And yet, said Nawal al-Sayeedi, a clerk at the Space Toon toy store in the city's upscale Abou Roumaneh neighborhood, Fulla flies off the shelves.

When Iman Telmaz took her two young daughters back-to-school shopping recently, disaster struck. Ms. Telmaz had promised the girls, 10-year-old Alia and 5-year-old Aya, new pink Fulla backpacks for the start of the school year, and the stores were sold out.

Ms. Telmaz resolved to keep looking. "The children love their Fulla dolls," she said. "Aya is starting school for the first time, and has specially asked for a Fulla backpack. For these girls, it has to be Fulla."

Ms. Sayeedi, the toy store clerk, said she felt sorry for parents.

"If you've got a TV in the house, it's Fulla all the time," she said. "The parents complain about the expense. But Fulla gives girls a more Islamic character to emulate, and parents want that."

Not everyone sees Fulla as such a positive influence. Maan Abdul Salam, a Syrian women's rights advocate, said Fulla was emblematic of a trend toward Islamic conservatism sweeping the Middle East. Though statistics are hard to come by, he said, the percentage of young Arab women who wear the hijab is far higher now than it was a decade ago, and though many girls are wearing it by choice, others are being pressured to do so.

"If this doll had come out 10 years ago, I don't think it would have been very popular," he said. "Fulla is part of this great cultural shift."

"Syria used to be a very secular country," he added, "but when people don't have anything to believe in anymore, they turn toward religion."

Fatima Ghayeh, who at 15 is a few years past playing with dolls herself, said she felt "sad that no one plays with Barbie anymore." But, pressed for further explanation, Ms. Ghayeh, dressed in a white hijab and ankle-length khaki coat, appeared to change her mind.

"My friends and I loved Barbie more than anything," she said. "But maybe it's good that girls have Fulla now. If the girls put scarves on their dolls when they're young, it might make it easier when their time comes. Sometimes it is difficult for girls to put on the hijab. They feel it is the end of childhood." "Fulla shows girls that the hijab is a normal part of a woman's life," Ms. Ghayeh continued. She gestured behind her, at a pair of excited little girls examining a rack of Fulla-branded Frisbees and pool toys. "Now the girls only want Fulla."

But Jyza Sybai , a lanky, tomboyish Saudi 10-year-old, visiting Syria with her family for a short vacation, disagreed. "All my friends have Fulla now, but I still like Barbie the best," Jyza said. "She has blond hair and cool clothes. Every single girl in Saudi looks like Fulla, with the dark hair and the black scarf.

"What's so special about that?"

Is this thing on?

2005-09-21T06:57:00.000+03:00

So. Is this blog on? testing, 1 . . . . 2 . . . . 4. . . . ?